Conflict In Myself..

It's been awhile I didn't write my wall. I do miss sometime to write but I'm still strugglin' to get proper position in my life. I already graduated and it's time for me to get a fix job, earn money, eat, pray and love. 
It's already December and I must say it has been dreadful year.  
Tok Biru, my father side grandmother, had passed away (Al-Fatihah, may God bless her.)

As for me, I'm single now. Maybe some of you won't believe this happening., but what happened , I won't tell here. Only few close friends knew the story, the rusty malicious story. (  . ___ . )

Luckily, I grew stronger lately. I'm not like lasting when this impact happens, I did stupid things including tempting to suicide. Also, my best friend was there when it happened. I have her support and someone to talk with, thanks to her, I could think in positive ways.
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As a result, I became more insecure about men. I lost trust on them. I'm scare to start a relationship again.
What if the same thing goes over and over again? I don't know why married men keep approaching me, seriously, damn men nowadays, why can't they just stay loyal? Also, those jerks who approaching me because interested on my physical to have sex.

Another thing is, those guys who just meet me but already calling me "dear, darling and honey" and claim they can take care of me. Oh man, I hate people who talk louder than action. At least, prove to be you can do that, how well you can treat me? Could you can make me happy? Could you be there when I cry? DON'T JUST SAY IT, PROVE IT !


Damn it! Seriously, I had fucking ENOUGH with these guys. I don't want to be fool by these fucking assholes.  It's time for me to change the way I approach on guys and its ok for me if they call me bitch as long I'm not their bitch!

I'm gonna be somehow turn to be a Tsundere girl (<--click for definition) and its like I'm gonna be very irritate, picky, materialistic and playing hard-to-get on the way to get a quality guy and true love. ❤

I wonder, when is my true prince will come? (lol like Disney Snow White's song) ..sigh..

Only God knows. (TT~TT)

"Heart for Sale" -anonymous, taken from a wall post in Facebook page

Who want to buy my heart?
I'm having it for sale.
Although it's only 3rd hand, It still functions well.
Because I sold it whole twice, they returned it broken.
Now, I had it all repaired and now I'm back in business.

Who wants to buy my heart?
Satisfaction guaranteed.
It has free service charge and a lifetime warranty.
So if you are asking for the price.
Well, you are in a bargain, It only cost....true love